Thirty Letter Challenge 2- Your Crush

Dear Damon Salvatore,

Damn you for being so sexy. Damn you to hell. And damn Ian Somerhalder for being so goddamn sexy while playing you that he's inspired a few very interesting dreams. But let's not go there.

It makes perfect sense that I'm totally in love with you. The only other bad boy with a heart of gold I've crushed on was James "Sawyer" Ford from LOST, in which Ian played the oh-so-pretty but far too dippy Boone Carlyle. There's no way Josh's portrayal as the complicated, guarded Sawyer did not influence Ian. Sawyer was my first bad boy love, but you Damon have far eclipsed him. Maybe it's because with you the danger is very real and so the reformation is even realer. Besides, I've always gotten a thrill of off danger. Sure, normally the danger isn't to mortal peril levels, just to the levels where I may get caught having sex on a train station platform at midnight and get arrested and have my good girl "Jackie" reputation take a serious hit. Although, come to think of it, if I had gotten caught that time my parents would have killed me and the guy and then my mother would have died of shame, so that one was triple mortal peril.

But enough about me, let's talk about you. You are everything the sparklepires are not. You are severely tempted by blood but try so hard to resist taking it from humans, instead stealing from hospitals and blood banks. But you also fail a lot, you stumble, you have spent a century and a half living without morals and so you will slip up. And although you pretend that those deaths and injuries are just slip ups, I can tell it causes you real pain. You want so hard to be good, to be worthy of Elena. But sometimes you realize that this may be a hopeless cause. Elena is in love with the moral, upright Salvatore brother and Stefan loves her right back.

It's weird, this is the first time I've been hooked on a love triangle but been unable to take sides. Like the Skate/Jate debate on LOST. Even though I was on the losing, Skate team, I still maintain that Jate is the unhealthiest relationship I've ever seen. Yes, including Bedward. But I'll rant on that later. With this love triangle, I can see the merits of both relationships and honestly would not care if Elena chose Stefan over you. Although seeing your heart breaks makes mine break too. Damn, Nina Dobrev is the luckiest girl in the world.

SPOILERS START HERE

I love your dark side, yes, but I love your light side, the one you try so hard to repress, even better. When you went to check on Jeremy after Anna had died it was not because you wanted to win brownie points from Elena. In fact, when you saw "Elena" on the front porch you were clearly shocked and refused to tell her what exactly your "failed and futile attempt at doing the right thing was." In fact, for those reading this who aren't yet hooked on this show, I'd like to quote that scene:

Damon You know, I came to this town wanting to destroy it, tonight I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen? I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good; it's not in me."Elena": Maybe it is.Damon: No, no it's reserved for my brother—and you. Bonnie, even though she has every reason to hate me, still she helped Stefan save me.
"Elena": Why do you sound so surprised?Damon: Because she did it for you. Which means somewhere along the way, you decided I was someone worth saving. I wanted to—thank you for that"Elena": You're welcome.

And well, we both know what happened next.

Normally when I love someone I tell them "don't ever change." But I won't say that here. Because we both know that it's hollow, we both know you can and will change. You can be a good man, it's in you and I know it. So, I love you Damon and keep on changing. You will get there someday.

Love and Turmoil,

Zoe